How can we support someone who has lost a loved one to suicide?

Losing a loved one to suicide is one of the most painful and complex experiences a person can go through. Those who are close to them often wonder how they can be there for that person without being invasive.  

Dr Iria Grande, a psychiatrist at the Clínic, together with Anna Lara, survivor and therapist with the association DSAS, share some key thoughts: finding the perfect words is less important than being present. “What’s most important is validating the feelings of the person who is suffering,” Anna explains.

Validating does not mean minimising or correcting what other people feel, but rather, accepting with respect what they express. Saying things like “don’t cry” or “don’t think like that” can be counterproductive. In contrast, listening with attention and without judging lets the other person feel they are being accompanied in their pain. 

One of the biggest mistakes is thinking that mourning a suicide requires a special type of accompaniment. “Grief is grief,” they emphasise. Although the stigma around suicide can lead to confusion or uneasiness, the need for emotional support is still the same.

They also underline that you don’t need to give advice, as the recommendations that work for one person may not be useful for another. Sometimes the best help is simply to be there, silently, being sympathetic and emotionally available. 

In brief, mourning needs safe spaces where emotions can be expressed without being judged. Being supportive does not always mean talking; often, it means listening. 

INFORMATION DOCUMENTED BY:

Dr Iria Grande, psychiatrist, Clínic Institute of Neurosciences, Clínic Barcelona. 

Anna Lara, survivor and therapist with the association DSAS  

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