Preventing self-harm

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Woman talking with a child with glasses

Identifying people at risk and offering them strategies for dealing with stress and emotional education. 

One teenager hitting another

Bullying prevention programs in schools.

Family talking

Encourage family relationships. Build a trustworthy home environment. Perform leisure activities with all family members.

People talking and a positive symbol

Encouraging social relations. Many people who self-harm feel alone and isolated. Talking to people who do not self-harm may improve social and communication skills.

Family talking

Raising public awareness of the problem. For example, teaching adults who work with children or adolescents how to detect self-harm and how to help a person who may be self-harming. Designing programmes which encourage adolescents to look for help.

Two people in front of a computer and a clock

Supervise and regulate the use of Internet in teenagers.

Scale

Teaching adolescents to think critically about references to self-harm in music and on social networks. 

In some cases, medication may be required to treat associated symptoms such as anxiety, depression or psychosis. 

Enhancing motivation to stop self-harming is very important, and having a supportive network can be extremely helpful in this process. Self-harm can bring a sense of short-term relief, so finding the motivation to change can sometimes be difficult. For this reason, making a list of the short- and long-term consequences (both positive and negative) of self-harming, and keeping it in mind, can support motivation and strengthen the desire to change. 

Managing emotions

Understanding our emotions and learning to take responsibility for them is important, as people who self-harm often experience very intense feelings.  

Some strategies that may help manage these strong emotions include:  

Mobile chat

Talking to a trusted adult or friend about how you are feeling. If you are alone, call or text a friend.

Person listening to music with headphones

Distracting yourself. Distraction is a useful strategy, as it involves finding something to do that makes self-harming less likely. For most people, the urge to self-harm lasts only a few minutes. If you manage not to act on it, the desire usually eases. It is recommended to make a list of activities that can be used as distractions, such as listening to music, watching television, or other things that keep your mind busy, create different strong sensations or take part in activities that keep you active. It is important to remember that distractions only help cope with the immediate urge, but does not solve the underlying problems that trigger self-harm. 

Person doing yoga

Do something relaxing, like going for a walk, dancing, doing relaxation exercises, or squeezing a stress ball.

Hand writing with a pencil

Finding another way to express your feelings, like drawing or writing a diary.

Arm and pencil

Another option, if the emotional distress feels overwhelming, is to do something that produces strong physical sensations, such as holding ice cubes, snapping an elastic band on your wrist or eating something spicy.  

Each person is different and some of these strategies work for some people and not for others. You just have to try different options and find the right one for you.

What can I do if a friend or family member is self-harming?

It can be very worrying if a friend or family member is self-harming, and we don’t always know what to do to help.

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What to do

  • Let them know that you care about what’s happening to them.
  • Talk about their self-harming calmly and without judging them, listening carefully to the person without minimising their difficulties or trying to “fix” the problem. It is important that the person who self-harms feels heard.  
  • Get information about self-harming and what to do about it.
  • Ask for professional help, encouraging them to seek help.  
  • Being patient with the therapeutic process. 
  • For children or teenagers, families should increase supervision and consult their doctor or paediatrician as a priority.  
  • Removing from their reach any potentially dangerous objects that could be used for self-harm (scissors, cutters, etc.). 
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What not to do

  • Ignore self-harming.
  • Try to be their therapist.
  • Get angry or punish them, as this will probably just make them feel worse. Self-harm is a learned behaviour, which means it can be modified and replaced with healthier ways of coping. 
  • Make them promise not to do it again.
  • Feel guilty about the self-harm or think you are responsible for stopping it.

Información general de Mental Health in Children and Adolescents

Consulta toda la información relacionada con Mental Health in Children and Adolescents

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Substantiated information by:

Iria Méndez

Published: 30 October 2019
Updated: 22 September 2025

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